Have you ever met someone, had a conversation, and then you part ways only to know that there is a possibility you will see them again? When you do see them again, do you struggle to remember much in regards to the conversation? You see that specific person, and are hoping they do not address you by name since you cannot remember theirs?
This use to be a huge issue for me especially when I would meet someone new in a meeting, have a conversation about their past year and family, but yet forget about almost all of it by the next time I see them.
There is a system I implemented that may sound crazy, but it works wonders and all one needs is a voice recorder.
Here are three easy ways to impress someone by remembering things about them:
1. Record yourself speaking about the subject of interest after the interaction happens
An example is when going on a date and learning something new about them, I would leave at the end of the date, take out my voice recorder on my phone and repeat anything that I could remember from our conversation such as names, dates, employment, cute quirks, or even her favorite things.
This allowed me to go back and listen to the recording before I saw her again, so when we spoke, I would use more personable words that the majority of people would not remember, but I did. For example, instead of saying “How is your brother doing?” I would say “How is [insert name of brother]?”
For most people, family is very personal, and so remembering the little things such as their names, takes one a very long way. This created a sense of trust, comfort, and feeling as though I was different than the “other men” they had dated.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
2. Engage in active listening
This might seem obvious, but I am shocked when I see how many people are engaged in passive listening, or are thinking about what they are going to say while the person they are speaking with is talking. When one actively listens, they fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said.
An example is that someone may ask someone “How was your day?” After the person responds, they reply not with a follow up question about their day, but bringing back to conversation to them. This is a big no no. One must inquire if they say “My day was good,” then ask “Why was it good!” “What was the best part of your day?” Have them talk more so you can truly understand why their day was good.
3. Ask questions
Make sure to always ask questions. I have realized that the more I am focused on the conversation, the more I can ask follow up questions without forcing the conversation. One’s goal should be to ask such great follow up questions that the person they are speaking to does not realize that they are still talking. Before they know it, you will know much more about them than they do about you, and that keeps you interesting and mysterious.
Everyone wants to feel valued, loved, and cared for, so by using this technique, you will remember specific details about your conversation that will astonish the other person.
They will find that you are different and actually care, which is the whole purpose of recording whatever details you can remember after the conversation. Be different so that you can be unforgettable to everyone you meet.
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” – Voltaire